I get so upset sometimes.
I want to not be heartbroken.
Not be afraid to care.
To love.
Not be afraid to get attached.
Just to be let down.
I try to hide this frown.
I hold back the tears that just want to break through.
The feelings those are so honestly true.
I’m afraid to get my heart broken.
I’m afraid to be let down.
Why do I have to experience these things again and again?
God what did I do wrong?
What did I do to deserve all this pain?
The shame I carry on my back because I’m afraid to be myself.
I have to hide the love because everyone wants me to hate.
I have to hide the hate because everyone wants me to love.
It’s like im trapped in my own personal hell.
Like I’m not important enough to be cared for.
Like I’m below the rest.
Why don’t I deserve the best?
Why can I experience trust or truth?
Why can’t I be loved for once?
Why can’t I be looked at as beautiful?
The looks I hate so much.
The stares that I pretend not to notice.
They hurt.
Do you not realize I am a person too?
Do you not notice that I need love to survive?
Just love me for once.
Let me feel compassion and trust.
Let me not be hurt for once.
Let me express my feelings without being shot down.
But I guess that I’ll just have to deal with the hateful stares.
The dishonest glares.
Until the day I die.
But hey at least I don’t cry!

 
Copyright © bubblesbabi, All Rights Reserved