Your voice is hushed, it presses on my ears and blocks my thoughts
Movements are fast and your hand creeps up my thigh, lifts my skirt, and
strays to the unknown
My breathing ragged, my chest is wound tight like a rubber band. My breath
is caught in my throat, suppressing the screams that fight to come out
Your lips on mine are hot with desire, your breath is steamy and thaws the
frigid skin you explore
Pushed on a bed, the comfort of the cushion beneath me seems impossible in
the pain that consumes my entire being.
Sounds outside are muffled and dead to my ears; the occasional rustle of
sheets, the silent creep of clothing as it travels over my head, the soft
pop of snaps undone.
The scratch of a zipper and is slowly travels down.
I inhale and my breath catches fast in my throat. My heart stops beating.
The tight knot of pain centered deep in my chest grows to size unimagineable
as a slight sob escapes my lips and a single, silent tear slides down my
cheek.
My eyes fold closed and I retreat deep into my inner being as you work to
feel me from the inside
Every word you have ever said, they fall from you mouth and shatter like
glass on the floor. Every web of dreams you have spun, every sweet nothing
you have whispered, every loving touch you have given are all replayed in my
head and deemed as ploys to get me here, now.
Your voice brings me back to the present. Low and moaning, you tell me you
love me and I cry because it's not the kind of love I thought you had;
it's not the kind of love I can return.
Your hands, they wander. Every touch sears my skin, every stroke cuts too
deep.
Your lips, they wander. Every kiss burns like fire, every trail you leave
eats away at me like poison.
Exhausted, you fall beside me. Trembling, I close myself up and fold myself
away. Your breathing, once harsh, fast and heavy, slows to normal.
I lay beside you and you seem not to notice my ragged gasp of breathing that
comes from deep within my chest, nor the hot well of tears that builds up in
my eyes and, with each blink of an eyelid, stream down my face and fall
sideways to the mattress below.
I am lost. My inner voice chants over and over. It reminds me how wrong that
just was, how fake everything else was, how wrong you were, how wrong I was.

Eventually you get up and, not speaking a word, get dressed. Not looking
back, you walk out my door and I can't help but think it's the
last time I'm ever going to see you again.
 
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