I didn’t think I would become obsessed,
It all happened so fast at recess.
This girl came up to me,
Said that I was fat and ugly.
I went home with tears in my eyes,
I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.
I stood looking at myself in the mirror,
Wishing the world was clear.
Mom and dad didn’t help,
I wished I were a fish so I could hide in so I could in some kelp.
I ran to kitchen, my emotions pitchen,
I grabbed the knife fast so they wouldn’t see,
Ran to my feeling I have to pee.
Sitting in my room alone,
Thinking no cares enough to call me on the phone,
Hearing my mom and dad’s voice of tone.
The first cut was made because of the girl,
The second cut made me want to hurl.
The third cut came so fast,
I could see all of my past.
The feeling of my deserving made me cry,
As I wished I could die.
Watching the blood drip to the floor,
My emotions just tore!
All I wanted was for someone to understand,
All I needed was for someone to take my hand.
Cutting didn’t seem to help,
So I tried burning instead,
Wishing my insides were all dead.
Burning only seemed to work once in a while,
GOD! I felt like such a child!
Head Banging was next on my list,
Feeling alone made me pissed.
I tired head banging only once,
That was enough for me to know,
That I was still all alone.
I tried scratching next,
Hoping I would get a text.
All I wanted was to be accepted!
I didn’t want to be so demented!
Starching did all but cure my hunger for pain,
Am I going insane?
My scars were turning into scabs,
I looked out the window wishing I could catch a cab,
To run away from one and all,
Why couldn’t life just be a ball?
I sat in the dark, picking my scabs.
It felt like a group of pinching crabs.
I sat in silence because I felt alone,
Felt like my voice didn’t have a tone.
I told myself I didn’t matter,
Always asked my what was wrong with me?
Didn’t drink pop, barely drank tee,
Never really ate,
All because of my one classmate.
Then one faithful day online,
I read about Borderline Personality Disorder,
Or BPD for short,
It made me sound like a good sport!
They had a name for what I had done,
Self Harm or Self Injury was its name,
It even said I could be tamed!
I lifted my sleeve that hid my shameful arm,
The wind blew through my window and sounded off my wind charm.
That was the day I found hope,
The day I finally found out the truth that was unknown,
The truth was,
I am not alone.

 
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