I wrote it all down
too many times to count
the same words
same story
Same hope.

I finished, every time,
smiling grimly thinking
today would be the day.

but a thousand todays have come and gone
turning to yesterdays, bringing with them part of me
everytime they left.

i cant do a thing about it.
i can just keep writing
and keep hoping.
and all you can do is comment on the details
and smile at my form, or lack there of.

you dont understand.
i shouldnt expect you to.

im sorry ive grown bitter
and im sorry, ive grown tired

ive been frustrated from the beginning
it isnt easy
to sit back and watch your own life
fall apart

I wanted you to understand.
You shouldnt have to struggle for me.

im sorry i wanted you to fail
as i have so many times
i wanted you to know
i wanted someone to know.

I wanted someone to help.

I'll keep writing.
Please Keep commenting on the details
keep smiling at my form, or lack there of.
I cant expect you to understand.

Ive just been walking too many miles
selfishly wishing for a trade
ive been dancing for hours
forcing you to carry me home.
My shoes are worn and dirty, and im waiting for new ones
but you shouldnt have to give me yours.
 
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