Why do I dream more than I live?
I rather dream than to face the reality pf life. The pain I feel seems so
unreal. I can't even keep down a meal let along be steal. I don;t know what
I feel but I know happiness is not in my heart, years ago we were pulled
apart.
That's the sacrifice I made, happiness for pain was my trade. Living a life
with a heart full of sorrow makes me not look forward to tomorrow.
Understanding life has been a big problem for me. Praying that I was someone
else, then I snap back to reality. For along time I couldn't put two and two
together, because everyday I had to face bad weather.
I feel so alone but the love from my friends kept me strong, through out the
years I sheded so many tears. I took up the tough man role so no one can
notice my fears.
Why am I so lost? I can't even get a family without a cost but I'm still
holding on trying to be strong, praying to God that nothing else go wrong.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. I swear I don't know how many
more smiles I can fake. Sometimes I wish I was dead somewhere laying in a
lake.
It hurts me to feel this way but thats the feeling in my heart so what could
I say. People make me feel like I should change all my ways. Everyday
someone has something smart to say.
I don't feel like I belong. I don't know how long I can stay strong but I am
trying. Its not a day gone past that I am not crying or telling myself to
keep on striving and that the hardest part of life is
SURVIVING.

Jetta G
HOLLA
 
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