My journal entry for the day. I just added this as a poem because I wanted
to keep you guys up to date about the shit in my life, so here it goes, my
screwed up love life...

The hardest part about going back
is seeing the people I once loved, and who they have become.
I mean, they once loved me back,
and now they dont give a shit whether I live or die.
How can feelings change that fast?
Maybe they never really cared in the first place,
but that doesnt make me feel ne better. He was mine, before he was hers,
and now hes left me for her, and his friends.
Shes still my friend, and I love her to death,
but she doesnt see how hard it is for me to have to see him,
day in and day out
and not say one word to him.
I want to hug him and cry, and tell him how much I love him,
because I still do,
but thats something that I cant do,
I cant even imagine what would happen.
Rejection, thats what would happen.
I know I would get rejected,
yet I still dont understand why I cant get over him.
He was an ass hole to me, and everyone knows it.
Everyone tells me to stop loving him, but I cant.
The feelings never truley leave,
but sometimes I get strong enough to stand on my own two feet,
to where I dont need him ne more.
Then there are times like this,
when the mere thought of who he once was
brings tears to my eyes.
What do I do? Why does it have to hurt this bad?
Love isnt supposed to hurt,
its not supposed to hurt the one that was honest and true.
Its supposed to hurt the one that lied.
But not in this case.
I shared so much with him,
and its like he didnt even care.
I want so bad to find a relationship like that again,
but there is only one of him in this world.
I doubt I will ever find another.
And he is my one soul mate, he's just like me,
and everything about him, I love.
Yet, I have to give that up.
I have to pretend it doesnt hurt.
 
Copyright © last2right, All Rights Reserved