What the f*** did I do,
To myself to deserve such shit,
It's my own fault,
I'm to blame,
Its all the things,
I did before that make me what I am,
But what can I do,
When I can't pretend,

It's my life that hates me,
Its the thing that makes me,
What is it to you,
Cause I can't tell you,
What it is to me,
It's my life,

So leave me with this thing,
That destroys my life,
It's something that I must live with,
cause with out it,
I wouldn't be here,

It's what had made me,
It's my life,
I meant that literaly,
It's my life,
It itself...

It's time for people,
To see in me,
I don't know who I am,
Or what to be,
I know the things I feel,
But some are lies,
All I know for sure,
Is I use my eyes,

I love a girl,
That is true,
I hate myself,
Is it possible,
That I am something,
That she's not,
Am I something,
that I'm not,

I discover my own way,
That something inside me is dead,
But I know it's there,
Cause it beats through me,
I am something that's a lie,
It's called a life,
And thats all to tell,
That I am nothing,
But I belong in hell,

I want my girl,
Cause she makes me feel,
Like the world is one,
On a sideways wheel,
I treat her like,
She is the best,
for she is,
This is no test,

I know my life is,
something less,
then you see in,
lying in a mess,
I can't seem to be what,
I am to be and progress,
That I am something,
I must confess,

[bridge]
THIS IS ME!!!
I KNOW WHO I AM,
YOU CAN'T STOP ME,
I AM A MAN,
It's time to forget your,
Memories,
Cause all thats left will be me,
You see me there with a pillow,
a gun to my head,
Next to a willow,


The tree has turned,
and now you see,
It's something inside,
that's killing me,
This is my turn,
To change the world,
This is how it works,
So grab your maiden,
And your guns,
Let's make the world,
Be so fun,

It's time to profess,
The lies to which you,
Massichast,
It's my life,
That gave you a kiss,
I can't help it when I say,
I love you anyways,
It's the truth believe in that,
I feel it with something dead,

This is the time,
For people to see,
What it is that's killing me,
I wrote this song,
with an opened chest,
It's time to show you,
What is best,

No one has to die,
If I live,
For it's time for me to go on,
And learn how to give,
I know that my time is done,
But if I live,
I'm another one,

It's time for the world to change,
At least myne,
For its teatering,
Everyword I say is wrong,
That's why I sat,
And wrote this song,

This is the new coming order,
The time for me,
To live in morbid,
I see the light,
that chases me,
From the tunnel,
Look and see,

I love her,
For her life,
I have none,
It's my knife,
But I dropped the blade,
To stay with her,
In a world,
That's made of fur,

Everything is soft,
Nothing is real,
But it doesn't matter,
For how I feel,
It's authentic,
It's open,
It's my life force,
From my sin,

But it's time for my sin,
To be absolved,
I ask for my appoligies,
To be given for me,
But I must make them myself,
So I shall go to,
The little building,
With a steeple,
Walk in to see the living people,

My life was saved,
Because of something,
That had already killed me,
And made me nothing,
But it's fine,
In the run,
For love is divine,
Between the skin and gun,

My hand drops the gun,
And I kneel down,
My face falls first,
Into the ground,
No blood,
No screams,
I am dead,
But what it means,

Is the thing that pumped,
Died long ago,
So I stand from the ground,
Wipe myself off,
And walk to town,
I see her there,
I feel something,
Inside me,
Start the pumping,

My head starts hurting,
My mind stops working,
My heart is fine,
Inside its lurking,
My life is back,
For a while,
Til the blood runs down my cheek,
WIth my smile,

I screwed it up again,
Like I always do,
She saved me,
This was true,
But what had happened,
Would be unseen,
While I lay down,
and start to scream,

My life was back,
Inside a van,
White suits,
White man,
The needles,
Prying into my skin,
As the whole heals,
Deep within,

I find myself in a bed,
With a girl there,
Touching my head,
Her hand on myne,
This was love,
I thought I was dead,
Til I saw her above,
I finally saw what was ahead,

My life, My love,
The girl above,

[secondary bridge]
THIS TIME!!
IT'LL BE MINE,
THIS TIME,
I WILL MAKE THIS SOMETHING,
THAT WILL NEVER CAUSE,
any more PAIN,
any more of my insanity,
I BELIEVE,
this is true love,
MY PAIN, MY SIN,
taken by a dove,
[end of bridge]

This is what I am,
My life was brought back,
By my love,
And this story is true,
In a way,
Cause I see my self,
Everyday,

I can't see her,
but she is there,
I know this,
Cause I can feel it,
Inside my skin,
From where I once died,
deep within,

I thanked her,
I loved her,
I need her,
I was with her,
I said one thing,
And screwed it up,
I felt again such pain,
My heart desolved,
and became my only servant,

I told it what to do,
I told it what to think,
My life dissapeared,
When I sank,
I fell for her,
And screwed it up,
My life was great,
But now it sucks,

I want to make amends,
One day this happened,
today it did,
My eyes shut,
to contain under a lid,
I look up and see her there,
She smiles at me,

I curl into a ball,
And she says,
"It's ok",
I can't believe it,
cause inside myself,
I feel I've wronged,
She tries to calm me down,
As I start to frown,

IT"S MY LIFE,
IT MAKES ME,
I think its time,
that you all see,
It's not there,
If she is then,
It makes do,
For I can feel her love,

No matter how I've wronged,
No matter how I've loved,
I think she is just trying,
To believe she loves me,
I love her,
That is true,
I want her here,
That I do,

So how do I feel,
Like I made her cry,
When I talk about something,
Meaningless,
and obsene,
I never wanted to hurt her,
I want her happy,
Why can't she leave,
Me for dead,
She'd go find someone,
with a head,

Myne is gone,
My chest hurts,
When I breathe,
It seems to churn,
When I think,
It seems to burn,

She was everything to me,
She will be if she stays,
I wont make her,
Cause I know the ways,
She feels inside,
I would to,
Since I can't let me hide,

I want her happy,
with someone,
Treats her like I did,
But that says the right things,
She was special,
She was someone,
She still is,
And everyone,
Will never messure up to her,

I hope she stays,
I really do,
I want to love her,
And kiss her too,
I want her there,
To say I do,

It's this last time,
This last poem,
That I'll write,
If things go wrong,
Or even if right,
If their wrong,
I will need a doctor,
If their right,
I'll only need her,

[outro]
(love me baby)
(I am here)
(I love you)
(can't you hear)
(Just don't let me)
(make a start)
(cause I don't want)
(to break your heart)
(I know it's on a ways)
(since we can face many days)

**Cat... if you read this carefully... it's not just about you... or how I
feel for you... It's about everything that has happened, I love you...
That's what I want you to understand... this is a little odd of a poem, I
know, but it just means, I'm sorry for anythig I ever do or ever done and I
love you no mater what happens ok...**
 
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