i woke up one sunny morning
and found that
i am terrified
to death
of infinity

found i would be
crushed to insignificance
by such a large number

found that forever is to long
if everything is not to big

those who want to live
always
could be too round a number

found that heaven,
is scary as ‘ell
the possibility of existing
in an eternal monotone
is as frightening as being erased
as soon as im crossed out

i don’t believe in hell
can you say anyone deserves eternal suffering
and whose to say
the adaptability of the human race
couldn’t get used to nightmares
as easily as a dream
once their eyes close

replication is for the young
and the old grow weary of history repeating itself

for eternity seems to be too excessive
an amount
of something to valuable
causing an inflation
of depression
life is expensive because it is rare

what happens when
i find life too common to be a special treat any more
maybe that’s why
people oppressed beaten and broken
are so pious
they need a heaven
in which rich kids commit suicide and shoot heroin
like a gun

finding heaven on earth
derides the possibility of heaven
what happens when i realize
paradise can’t get any better
what is worse than not being surprised
in the end

what if i wake up
on one to many sunny mornings and
find i hate it
because there is no longer
eternity i found

as i grow older it gets both
harder
out of fear
easier
out of desperation
to trust
the one thing i have forever
 
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