In a trance of illicit thoughts
I have come to believe in all that is wrong
The morals of my former life
Have somehow twisted into this...
The sex and the drugs
Have become a pattern of behavior
A web of lies and deceit
A maze of traps and unforgiveable sins
And I cannot break free
The stronger part of me doesn't want to
My addiction to self-destruction
Has taken control of every facet of my existence
I stare out of the same eyes
But see things that I was ignorant of before
I suppose at one time there was light...
In my heart, in my life, in my smile
Now I feel that I am dark and black
My soul has opened itself to the impurities
That I blocked out for so long
Sex began as a quest of curiousity
And has become a game of physical pleasure and emotional pain
Drugs began as a merciful numbness
They've turned into a battle of mental want and physical demand
Two enigmas, both with euphoric purposes
They take me to exhilirating heights
They trick me into believing that I have the shine I once had
For all too brief moments
Only to leave me shrouded in the empty blackness
That I fear so much
Though I am aware that sex and drugs
Are the evil diseases that have brought me here
They are the only things I feel
Besides fear and pain
 
Copyright © sarai, All Rights Reserved