"we fucked"
they told me
seldom use of a conversational topic
my best friend just told me that she and her boyfriend
just made [ what is not ] love
in my jacuzzi
as i was watching a movie
ten feet away
from this boy that i've loved for [ what seems like ] forever

and amazing in this day and age that this is normal
so the fact that my best friend tells me
"it's normal for teens to have pointless sex especially in this day and
age"
makes me slightly UNnormal

i know it's weird
to be sixteen and think that holding hands is a sign of intimacy
or to still think that the word "fuck" is only used at times of anger and
frustration
or to believe in love and making love and saving it for the perfect person
instead of thinking of it as a mindless physical activity

i am sorry that i am weird
and i believe that intimacy and love
are generally intertwined in this mythological loop hole
that i should wait for my mind, heart, and stomach to agree
that the moment is pure perfection

i do not think like my best friend
who tells me of her mindless madness
and her physical whimsicalities
at the same time explaining to me that she is the greater part of the
teenage world

above all else i believe in love
seeing it differently than my best friend
is this how the world thinks?
is this how the world acts?
i hope not
 
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