You beat me down with expressive words
Worthless
Useless
And just not enough
Every word muttered
By and evil glance
I trusted your existance
But gained nothing but my life
In a hardened shell
Crushed by a spirit that wasn't real
You fed my ego with positive words
Only on odd days
That you didn't feel insecure
I steered to keep light
Of the circumstance
As you promised me pleasure
With no pain
Truth with no regrets
The I hate you's
I heard
But never did it settle in deep enough
I allowed you to silence me
With dishonor
Allowing myself to be subject
To your illusions
As I came to the realization
Iv'e always been
Just because..
I refused to make sense of it all
My hair was never straight enough
And you preferred me many times
One way over the other
Demanding me to imagine myself
In a mirror that only held flaws
As you would devishly breathe
Down my back
Another way to control
Another way for me to be
The dream woman
You created
Thank you for beating me down with words
Because I can now define "love"
As you are no where close
To the definition
Thank you for forcing
Your hand upon my face
I realize what it takes to truly love
Thank you for revealing the actual you
I will never suffer again
Im holding on just fine
Doing much better
I've released my fear
Learned to let go
Of the one person I found out
I didnt really love
But, most of all
Someone who didnt cherish me
Blinded by hallucinations
Believed to be real
You made it hard to focuse
Suffocation as I struggle to breathe
Bruising
Intellect
Spirit
Body
Mind
As no apology will ever suffice
For the wreck I attempted to dodge
Your kiss was wicked
Your eyes were untruthful
But again
Much to my suprise
Ive healed
As time burns all ties
That lead to you
I dont miss you at all
And I wrote this letter today
To myself that is
Many questions Iv'e answered
As I longed for the warmth
And comfort of reality
Ive gained truth
Set in stone
Ive started over
As a free spirit has mended my wings
Allowing me to breathe on my own
By cleansing my heart with respect
As there is nothing left of you there.
 
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