It's as if i'm hiding behind a smile.
A fake smile made of lies and pain.
Sometimes I feel like giving up..
And never looking back..
Never having to feel the pain.
And even if I look happy..
Actions speak so much louder than smiles.
I laugh..
I smile...
I put on an act for everyone to see,
Hoping someone will notice..
So maybe I could get some help..
And not run from this self hatred that I've lived with for so long.
I don't know how I got to be this way..
I know things will never go back to normal...
So why am I holding onto the past?
I laughed,
And I smiled..
Everything was great.
Until that day..
That day when you left my life..
Forever.
And to think that you're gone forever,
And that I'll never see you again breaks my heart into a million peices.
I'd give anything just to hug you one more time.
All my emotions are so mixed up..
I don't know what to do anymore..
I thought I could be strong without you..
But now I realize,
You were my life,
Everything I ever loved,
And knew.
And now that you're not here..
I miss you.
 
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