I have bad dreams with you in them,
Dreams that most wouldn’t consider “bad,”
No monsters, or death, or anything like that,
But there is fear,
That unfathomable fear that grips your soul and squeezes it,
That fear that makes it hard to breath,
That makes you want to cry,
You make up my nightmares,
Not because you hurt me physically,
Or yell, or do anything even relatively offensive…
No…You act perfectly normal,
And you smile and hug me,
Because you are inept and therefore it’s all okay,
But it isn’t okay,
It isn’t alright,
And it never will be,
Not really,
These nightmares, these images with such horrible meaning,
Should not be considered scary,
But they are terrifying for one very, very good reason,
They could happen,
Eventually I suspect they will happen,
You’ll surprise me when I least expect it,
And say we need to talk,
But I’ll stay silent while I listen to you,
Because its that fear that numbs my tongue,
And while you talk, you speak of nothing,
Your words have absolutely no substance,
And that hurts,
The problem won’t be brought up,
And things will go back to the way they were…
And when I wake I am so saddened, so dismayed…so completely furious,
Two years is a long time for silence,
A long time for absence,
The funny thing is,
At first I wasn’t even ignoring you…


 
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