I guess I would have to start with your name
and strip away every emotion it is candy coated with to me.
I will have to dissect it
delete it
shatter it
Write it out in every font and every handwriting
Decode its meaning
and strip that away.
Then I would have to move on with your intentions
try to understand those
know that you meant no harm...
did you mean harm?
Understand the inner working of your mind
dissect those
shatter those
write them in lipstick on my mirror
stare for hours
comprhend your sick intentions
and forget them.
If i were to continue with this, i would have to continue with your
psychology
and why you do what you do to young girls with eyes for you.
They are almost prostitutes
selling their inhibitons for your burning caress.
Does this give you power, I wonder.
Is this an extension of your manliness?
And after this long, rigorous process of understanding your mind
I would have to carve that in my arm
so i would never forget
And other girls would look and understand.
I could go on.
I could go through the process of studying your eyes
and the look they have upon gazing at naked flesh.
That lust
and pure guilt
or was that satisfaction?
I could study each and every touch you bestowed upon me
relive every sweet, reasonless moment.
Your lips
your friends
your family
your toubled childhood
the starving...
I could study all of that.
But even then
I still wouldn't understand you.
Which brings me back to the beginning...
I still have that hurt after hearing your name.
 
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