mama didnt want me
so she said why bother?
i guess she didnt love me
i didnt even know my father
my childhood is non existent
i dont remember much
ive never had an injury kissed
or a single loving touch
i was forced to grow up
way before the others
friends would dream happy dreams
while id cry under the covers
shoeless winters
no one to care
dirt on my face
knots in my hair
boxes became houses
snow became my blanket
tears filled my heart
my young body could barely take it
my clothes began to droop
my bones shining through
id constantly pray
and ask God what to do
next thing i knew
twelve summers past me
my eyes searched for answers
my face to the ground constantly
i was ashamed
of my clothes, much to small
my lack of education
my smell of alcohol
alleys werent that awful
but drunks were there alot
they'd sit and count the days earnings
of stealings mens wallets
id learned to defend myself
against drugs and temptations
flee from men older than me
resist violations
i knew what i wanted
just not how to get there
i knew when i walked down the street
why the strangers stared
they saw me as hopeless
as a girl without a dream
my dreams were so far away
i'd never get them it seemed
i was starting to give up
until i met him that day
he gave me a reason to live
i knew id be okay
sixteen summers under my belt
more knowledge within me
ever since i met him
id gotten closer to being happy
his eyes were like the ocean
full of wonder and love
a heart like the sky
with light from above
his touch was like an angels
different than any I'd ever felt
when i needed him he was there
all my worries would melt
throughout my life with him
we grew closer than before
but today, today was different
he didnt seem to care
he told me he couldnt take it
couldnt stay here anymore
i didnt understand
i thought he'd loved me more
he had finally had enough
his ocean eyes grew dim
i knew i couldnt do this
i couldnt afford to lose him
he'd helped me learn to live
learn to love again
he taught me that God forgave me
for every earthly sin
he left me there that day
standing in the street
watching as he walked away
my heart sunk to my feet
he walked away slowly
his head hanging low
as he dissapeared out of sight
it seemed like i had no place to go
this boy who barely knew me
loved me without ceasing
and now that he was gone
my heart was uneasy
i took one more look around
at the street known as my home
i broke down and began to cry
ashamed of what id become

since that day, ive never looked back
ive done something with myself
id told you my story
placed my heart upon a shelf
so dont look down on me
for the past is in the past
and dont try to pity me
for a shadow it does cast
instead be pleased with me
proud of what ive done
cause in the end, even i
am pleased with what ive become
i still miss those ocean eyes
who taught me so much love
but just as there is salt in the ocean
he's watching from above....


...tears...





 
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