As is true always of me
I have become for now
a piping piper
in tune with with no melody.

Many years I've spent in waste
trying to escape what was
always bound to be my fate.

At an early age this began
for even then lonliness seemed
an only true friend....

Never having loved me
I tried so foolishly
to breathe...with squeezed
and restricted air ways
always closing me off
the breath of life
has been my cost...

For reasons unknown to me
where before there were two
now there is left one
no reason it seems for the choice
of who would stay and who would go..

Putting my hand now to the Plow
onword alone
I finally go..

My heart in times past
has tried to stop and carry
a load to heavy,
and I am weary..

For it matters not that
I cry alone
and it matters little
if anyone understands
because I alone
and my two hands
will plow this dirt
until the soil is good.

What choice do I have
this won't go away
and no matter how hard I try
tears stream down my face....

Only for now to hope I cling
hope that all of this will one
day bring to surface what
has been buried,
for this alone
is a burdon I carry.....

Looking around there's no one
left here to blame
and no excuse is going this
to change

Accountable I am,
whether I like it or not,
for here is the lonely lot,
When I realize this
it makes me cringe
and my pillow is soaked at night
with tears of sorrow
and my pen and paper
meet again and again,
on every morrow'

I'll forget about what lies
behind plowed up in dirt
and for the day
this one alone
I shall continually work....

I can not see what the weather will bring,
but I am plowing my crops
and praying for the rain
and I know this is true
that surely as I sow

I shall reap too.....
 
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