I ring the bell at ten to nine
Check my mirror, I’m looking fine
I brought a pie, I hope they serve it
Or perhaps someone’s allergic
Push my worries to the side
As his mother opens the door
She asks me to come inside
No turning back anymore
I’m greeted with my fiance
He hugs me reassuringly
Then his father marched down the stairs
My stomach starts turning
I sat on the side of the table
Father at the top
His mother sat beside me
Then the silence stops
”So deary, what’s your name?” - ”It’s Vicki”
A strange look upon her face
”Oh well that’s very… Bubbly”
Look, bitch, what’s the chase?
My lover sees my eyes flare
He quickly clears his throat
His mother sends me one last glare
I accidentally choke
She reaches over to pat my back
I swear she had a knife
I calm myself just in time
And took another bite
This nasty food is really gross
I’m guessing it’s lasagna
One more bite and I twitch
Here comes my friend called nausia
Small talk doesn’t ease the tension
Like I’m under a microscope
His mother doesn’t forget to mention
That I smell like chinese soap
Desert, she serves my apple pie
I made it by myself
But her comment makes me want to die
”Did you have any help?”
I clench my fists and swallow my rage
I made it on my own!
I turn my head and politely say
With a sweet smile, “No”
My fiance talks about the wedding
Like I need this subject now
To kill his mother I will mention
In my wedding vows
I asked to be excused for a moment
His mother lifts up her chin
”Fine, even though it’s rude,
It’s the door beside the kitchen”
I use the washroom, this is getting low
I stood at the door
”I’m afraid I have to go”
In my head I’m thinkin ‘Score!’
They come to say all their goodbyes
My man gives me a tastey kiss
I look at his shocked mom
And send her a devlish wink
I walk outside, and before I go
I kick their freaking car
And, not to my surprise
I heard the alarm…

 
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