Should I do this again?
She asked the air around her.
She held the mirror shard
Against her upturned wrist.
Her face was turned up, eyes closed.
Tears poured from tightly
Shut eyes as misery shuddered
Across her broken and despairing face.
I hate you all, she whispered, teeth clenched.
She hated her father for his ignorance,
His blatant disbelief that there was
Something wrong with his "perfect" child.
She hated her mother, her selfish mother.
I could get better, if you would only see.
She loved her brother though,
He was always the one who protected her,
Always the one who comforted her.
I don't want to leave you, she sobbed.
But I don't want to be here anymore.
Her mother took her out of school.
Your illness it too much
For you to handle, and school.
Her mother had sealed her fate.
I might as well be dead now.
No one knows that I exist.
When she had done it the first time,
She stared at this red, vicious liquid
Pouring from her ruined veins, and had
Prayed for health, prayed for love
And she prayed for an escape.
When she woke up in a room
That she did not recognize,
She knew just what
Her mother had done to her.
You've been committed
Said the nurse who pushed
A cup of fluorescent yellow,
Threatening pills into her face.
Straight jackets and padded cells.
Thank you mother.
I guess I'm crazy now.
The second time had been worse.
She was home alone,
And screaming out her agony
When she did it.
She cut down to the bone.
Wet and glistening whiteness
Hidden beneath a pool of red.
This time let me die!
She begged and screamed that she
Wanted nothing more than death.
But they had found her again.
The nurses looked at her
Out of the corners of their eyes.
There's something wrong with that girl
Their eyes and actions said.
No visitors here.
Just barred windows to look out of
And crazy people jumping on
The furniture, running through
The halls, screaming about aliens
And kings and queens.
I don't belong here.
Not here, not anywhere.
The shard was still on her wrist
When she heard her door knob turn.
Her brother stood in the doorway.
Emily dropped the piece of glass
And ran to her brother.
I'll protect you Emily, I swear it.
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