He’s just 15 years old
Sitting in the middle of an NA meeting
He constantly believes
He is the cynosure
Even though no one pays him any attention
He’s too fearful to speak
He’s almost to fearful to think
all eyes point to him
“Say your name” he thinks to himself
“Say your name aloud.”
He opens his mouth and expects no words to come out
But some how he manages to speak

“My name is Jack
And I thought I was fat
I thought to myself that speed could fix that
I was a horse jockey
And control of my weight was ultimate power
I lived in a world where the losers are fatter”

He inhaled a deep breath
“All of the time I thought
That I was in control
But it turns out I was wrong
I was being controlled.
Every single weigh-in made me feel like the best
But then my boss told me
I would have to take a piss test.”

“I tried to stop
I really did
But the speed held the control
I realized then I was an addict
And that my life wasn’t my own”


 
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