Warmed tears slide out of my eyes,

Without grace, without beauty

Whenever anyone talks of crying

It’s always a beautiful, heartbreaking thing



Well, you’ve got the heartbroken part



None of this is worth it

Everything would be so much easier

If I’d just allow myself to pick those damn things up

Now that is beauty

The beautiful snowy white skin

Slashed and dripping,

The deep red a stark contrast

As it bubbles and streams

Never a sight more beautiful has entered my vision

A daydream so beautiful has never been imagined

And a wish more wonderful never created



None of this makes sense

I shouldn’t even be alive

The ironic part was that I wasn’t supposed to happen,

And apparently it wasn’t supposed to end this way

Who am I kidding?

Even if I was to end everything right here, right now,

I doubt anyone would notice

No one would cry over my death

Actually, they’d probably celebrate

That’s what they’d do

They’d dress in fancy clothes and party,

Drinking and dancing until the sun came up

In fact, they’d be glad to be rid of this nuisance

For that’s all I am to them



I don’t matter

It’s as easy as that

There’s no reason for me to be here

I don’t need to be alive

It’s not like anyone would miss me

All I do is cause problems

That’s my specialty, fucking things up

It’s all I ever do these days,

Just ask anyone, they’ll tell you

I’m worth nothing

It’s all worth nothing



I don’t deserve to be here

Happiness is not something I have earned

I deserve to be rotting somewhere

For every one of my few friends to desert me

Until I have nothing left

Actually, it’s not like I have much in the first place

But what little I have should be all taken away

This computer, the one thing I have to vent on,

Shouldn’t be mine

I deserve to suffer in silence, all alone

And this house, the warm clothing I have,

Any type of food to eat or anything to drink,

None of it should be mine

It should be taken for someone more worthy than me



I think I might take that line from “Rent” for this occasion



“Will someone care?

Will I wake up tomorrow from this nightmare?”



I shouldn’t wake up

If the world was fair,

I’d be caught in that wretched pain forever,

Torn apart literally until there was nothing left of me

And until I faded away…



This nightmare should go on for me

I certainly deserve it…
 
Copyright © emoboysrsohot, All Rights Reserved