I’m counting down the sleeps til’ Santa
Though I know he’s for the smaller children
I remember when I was still awaiting his visit
And how things were happier back then

But now the nights repeat themselves
And it just breaks my teenage heart
That the family I used to love
Is now nearly broken apart

I recall the night when my older brother returned
And my other came to visit
Mom broke the liquor out of the cabinet
And there was no way that I could stop it

Family drank down a bit too much ‘Christmas cheer’
Later just to bring it back up and into the toilet
A special season for family
They all just had to go and spoil it

I can’t bear this behavior another night
I’m so tired of being the one to take the keys
I don’t want to hold back your hair
Oh god help me please

I dared not say a word to mom
In fear that she might take it wrong
Until one night when I did mention it
And she took it just as I had thought she would all along

Two days of shouting fights
More nights of crying myself to sleep
I’m trying to walk my life’s path
But the road is tough, and the hills are steep

There’s no where to go now
And she wants me to move with my dad
I haven’t done anything
How did things get this bad?

Where did every one go to so suddenly?
And why can I not find the help I need?
How did things ever become this distant,
So that the only way I can feel is to bleed?

I’m scared for myself tonight
I had another blackout while laying on my bed
Every one’s so distance and no one wants to talk
I can feel the waves of pain wash over my head

One more sleep until the special day
I’m torn up inside, suddenly withdrawn
You people hurt me, you all desert me
And if I left no one would notice I was gone

Maybe I was foolish to make this a big deal
But now I have to be strong
I’m the only one who has things together
I guess I’ll never belong..


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