Am I being secretly monitored by the NSA?
Must they really know what I have to say?
With each telemarketing call,
Will the Agency consider each a coded message to enthral?
Are they eavesdropping on my entire house?
Even my equally boring spouse?
Listening even to my cat's litter box?
Will they think he listens to Fox?
Is that talked about odorous feline plume,
Only just that obnoxious Brit Hume?
When I bathroom double flush,
Will this give W the real Rush?
If I listen to Howard Stern,
Will the Dick$ter in his secret location do a slow burn?
If I do not listen to the 700 Club,
Will Brother Pat on his tv show the wrong way I rub?
Will they find I believe the O'Reilly Factor,
Is nothing more than loony ramblings by a bad actor?
Will they discover I maintain my sanity and humanity,
And use less profanity, by not listening to the vanity of Sean Hannity?
Will the Agency seek a FISA warrant
To require me to listen to anorexic Ann Coulter, Thee Abhorrent?
Will they ultimately discover I am not a dittohead,
But unlike Rush, enjoy straight sex instead?
It is truly a great National Security mystery,
Why NSA chooses to monitor me with my ho-hum history?

With the utmost apologies to George and Ira Gershwin.
 
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