Dear diary
Today I seem to feel slightly dead
I can’t decide whether it is the heartache or the bullet hole in my head

Dear journal
I guess I have some good news
Those pills those doctors prescribe helped stop my obsession over you
There just might be one slight effect
Every minute the numbness gets worse
And I break out in a cold sweat

Well your prodigy is a defect
Your savior ain’t a saint
Your hero was the reason that this bomb has detonate
And these answers to my questions never felt so fake
And I get so sentimental when my heart breaks
Those actions that were caused never felt so damn surreal
I’ve lost all my emotions in the things I used to feel

Dear diary
Today he let me go
I wish I held on tighter and sucked up that final blow
The impact of that hit wasn’t what I had expected
It made my blood run cold
And made shivers run down my neck

Damn why did I have to be so weak
My conscious said to keep you near but you said to leave you be
Maybe this stubbornness isn’t much of a help
I still have no clue which pill it was that numbed this spell

Was it red or blue?
One of them will ease the pain
So doctor, doctor!
What’s the condition in my sedated state?
Was there too many valiums snuck into the chocolate I ate?

Doctor! Doctor! What’s the condition on patient two?
Her heartbeat is irregular and shock will set in soon
Oh no he whispered
I hope it’s not to late
Because that secret kept inside her is increasing her heart rate

Fuck! That isn’t reassuring news
Call a proper medic
Wait! I though that was you?!
No! No! You see I’m the voice in her head
You know
The one that tells her that she’d be better off dead

Oh shit! What are we to do?!
She took too many pills and her lips are turning blue!
Is anyone a doctor?
It seems to be to late
Her self-loathing and guilt has put her in a dreadful state

 
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