I’m no fairy tale
I’m no blonde princess in blue
I’ve got no glass slipper
And I’m not changing for you

Should’ve started some sort of arming
For this so-called prince charming
This poisonous apple I have bitten
Has got me up in the clouds and smitten

My beautiful carriage I stepped into
Was my crap 1980 Ford Pinto
My ballroom in all allurement
Was a few streamers in my school gym

Cover Girl made me Beauty
My date was already a Beast
And he thought it was my duty
To be his nightly feast

The mystical fairy dust that you think is floating
Is actually crack the fellows in the back are smoking

Midnight is approaching us, and well
My prince’s castle is a highway motel
Instead of carrying me, he drags me
Pulls me inside and then he shags me

And the hand strikes twelve o’clock
He pulls out his finished cock
Then he notices I’m no princess
And leaves me with my hiked up prom dress

Where’s my fairy godmother to make it disappear?
To reassure me it wasn’t real and wipe all of my tears?

But this isn’t some little story
No fairy tale ending for the kids
No happily after with all it’s glory
And I can’t rewrite what I did

Because I’m no fairy tale
No blonde princess in blue
I’ve got no glass slipper
And I’m not changing for you
 
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