I have excellent credit
And can catch a cab
My aunt works on Wall Street
My uncle dresses in drag
I should be a teacher
I sure do like children
But the judge says only love
And it's illegal to touch them
I wear real nice suits
From all the best companies
I'm so stylish and important
But it's all just make believe
My boss treats me like a jerk
I can't blame it on "The Man"
Thank god for chef Boyardee
I feed my kids from a can
My daughter wears next to nothing
And she dresses like a slut
She talks for hours on the phone
And I can never shut her up
I used to be scared that
She would stop loving me
Now my only concern
Is her getting HIV
My son thinks he's a skater
With long shaggy hair
But he's a nerdy magic geek
Who jerks off to David Blair
Now he wears tight pants
And eyeliner line a chick
I bet his only short term goal
Is to suck his own dick
My wife has no temper
Like a bull with sharp horns
She never wants to have sex
So I'm addicted to porn
She reads Star magazine
And we get in fights
She's no Eva Longoria
She's just a desperate housewife
I love to eat steaks
And I get political
I laugh at black related jokes
But I can never go to shows
I think Latino's are lazy
And Asians scare me
But if I say that out loud
I embarrass the whole company
I will probably never succeed
And live a dull and lonely life
But it's not my fault at all
Life is gay when you happen to be white

 
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