If I die tonight before I wake,

I wonder what journey I would take?

So many complicated questions to answer,

But my curiosity spreads like a cancer.

All I see is inhumanity,

So much thinking that I feel like Im on the verge of insanity.

My life would be just a vague spot in your memory,

I want to leave my mark on history so you remember me.

I know why Im here but whats it like where we go?

I guess its only a matter of time before we know.

Dont get me wrong; I plan on living a long life,

I just got this on my mind tonight.

I think Hell would be all my worst fears,

While Im drowning in a lake of eternal tears.

The area filled with screeches and screams,

Cursing and babbling, but I dont know what it means.

Endless cottonmouth,

You try to shout but no words come out.

I would fall into a pit of moral rejects,

Each being punished for their sins, their defects.

Days and nights would be filled with ceaseless pain,

Everyday would be more of the same,

Pain worse than what you get when no one loves you,

Hell would be looking up and seeing paradise above you,

And knowing that youll never make it there,

The result of trampling on others through life without a care,

And while they sit in Heaven they wouldnt even look down and stare,

You dont have to agree but the judgment was fair.

Sometimes I feel like the only time Ill ever be equal is when Im dead,

But at that time thoughts of equality wont be running through my head.

If I die tonight before I wake,

I wonder what journey I would take?

I try to keep the sacraments, all seven,

I wonder what it would be like in heaven.

I cant leave the explanation solely at paradise,

But I imagine a place without hunger and strife.

A place without suffering and steam,

When everyday is a dream,

And people there say what they mean,

And no hatred is felt or seen.

A reward for being a good person,

For standing strong when situations would worsen.

For not sacrificing your morals for others,

A place where all people are brothers.

When I look at the world I know there has to be a better place,

A place where people dont lie to your face.

Where you cant be harmed,

A place where no children have to be armed.

I complain about my troubles,

But for many people my age every day is a struggle.

Every day they get a glimpse of Hell,

Will I go to heaven or Hell?

I dont know now but only time will tell.

 
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