Who is the mother, you or me?
Am I your parent
Even though I cam from your womb?
Must I bear your suffering
As a pack animal would bear your food?
Must I cry for you?
When you are the one who makes me blue?
I am sick of being your whipping girl
Who bears your pain
Even though a grown woman can't
I bear your self made pain
I am sick of trying to be perfect for you
When I could never expect the same
Remind me why I strive so hard
Why I cry as you cry
And rip out for you my own heart
Why do I pain myself?
When none of this is my fault
I need to take my dreams off the shelf
And allow myself to be me
I can no longer hold you up
While remaining trapped in you shadow
Like imprisonment started by my own codependency
I scrub and scrub
The vomit off your floor
I have sunk below you
I have sunk to a level
I thought no self respecting human could go
They told me to love you
All mothers deserve love
Then they told me I couldn't change you
No addict will change with love
That seemed si ironic
Now it just seems wrong
I am sorry I didn't cry
When you told me you might die
You told me there was cancer
And it might reach your lungs
I guess I dealt with too much drama
And now nothing you do phases me
I am finally starting to build my own identity
And now you are pulling me back
Using all the things that drove us apart
To hold me on a leash with no lack
Giving me a one way ticket guilt trip
I'm the only member of the family who calls
I guess I'll always be your whipping girl
There to catch you as you fall
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