Why didn't you tell me from the start,
That you were only messing with my heart,
I kept saying you only had to say,
When I opened up, why continue with the game
You knew how hard it was for me,
I told you I was in unknown territory.

Thinking back now to things you said,
Going over and over it in my head,
Trying to make sense of what went wrong,
Why didn't I see what was in front of me.

You thought it was going to be me dump you,
Realizing now it wasn't your insecurities,
But what you wanted to happen.
When that didn't work you ignored and avoided me.

I worried and worked so hard to make things right
Evan though I did nothing wrong, so you say.
Except lower my barriers and succumb to your charm,
But my feelings for you remain unchanged.

I hate myself for feeling like this,
How could I be so easily misled,
Usually I can control my feelings, if any
But with you, it was different,
Evan now I still shake when you are near,
But now I have to lie and say its a side effect of my medication.

When you last asked me what was wrong,
I lied and told you I was fine, as always.
Why can't I say how much you still mean to me,
Why can't I find out, why you messed me about.

You made me feel something, for once in my life,
You made me want to be a better person,
You gave meaning to a life that's had none,
Only you Steve, have given me this.

I wish you told me, you were messing about,
So I could have kept my feelings in-check.
Such a short time this evolved,
More time apart the worse it seems to get.

I cannot see an end, but nothing new,
Every day and hour you are on my mind.
A new thought, reason and angle examined,
On and on it seems to go,
No way out, no where to go,
All that is left for me to say,
Is why didn't you say from the start.
 
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