I watched in sick fascination as my date mocked her from afar
He had no idea of the way I envied this monstrosity
Her plain looks, porcine body, thrift shop attire
Complexion pocked and untamed brows
Her hair that was noticeably cut by her own hand
And washed in dollar store shampoo
I wanted to live these few minutes in her secondhand shoes
Just to breathe it in, dive in the deep end of that cold pool
and feel its refreshing waters in their clarity
She was the center of attention
On three different angles
And it was better that way

Because the focus was away from me
I could stop for five minutes and forget
To look into windows and mirrors as we walked along
To insure my makeup was fresh and my skirt was smooth
And that I was standing straight and the smile natural
That I looked magazine perfect in painfully high heel shoes that
Will most likely give me bunions on injured feet
I could pretend that this was what one called a date
Because the customer is always right

And the final set of eyes that watched her
As I did, though with not a bone of jealousy
Was a boy who stood as tall as her plus-size hips
Whose smile was more genuine than I could muster today
And whose eyes dilated wide to take in her whole essence
And my heart was crushed inside to hear those words
Spoken to someone else so brazenly open in front of me,
“Mommy, I Love You”

And I wanted to be ugly
If only to hear those words spoken true to me

 
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