So bored and alone,
Lost in thought at home.
Thinking about how much I changed this year,
My own mind no longer my fear.
The memories never do go away,
Voices in my head no longer haunt my days.
The worst was the sleepless nights,
Struggling between insanity and reality,
I used to fear I would lose the fight,
Or maybe lose my life.
It began as whispers,
They haunt the unwilling listener,
Saying I was ruining everything,
Voices telling me I’m crazy,
Isn’t that the damnedest thing?
The good days were whispers,
Bad days were yells,
Trapped in a state of constant hell,
But who could I tell?
Professors would glare at me in class,
Wondering why wasn’t doing well.
Everyday was a battle and I fought it,
I couldn’t risk telling my friends or parents what,
That I fucking lost it?
I would talk and could hear someone talking over me,
Try to sleep and someone trying to wake me,
It was mental slavery,
How could I let myself go crazy?
Constantly feeling nervous and talked about,
When I was alone I’d shout,
And all the voices would do is respond with laughter,
There’s no escape for a bastard.
I became so annoyed,
With being paranoid,
I wanted to escape,
Needed to find help for my own sake.
I remember my mom drove me to the ER,
Sitting in a room,
Wondering if this is really where we are.
Heart beating so fast,
If life stayed this way I know I wouldn’t last.
But those days were long ago,
The voices are long gone,
Or maybe now,
They just talk real low.

 
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