When I'm rushed by these memories, I'm put back into those times
when i had a loving mother, before the sickness: both mental and physical.
Visiting mommy in the mental ward of GOOD SAMARITAN HOSPITAL, DOWNERS GROVE,
ILLINOIS...
the first of many instances of the deterioration of our relationship. Others
included trips to the beach, zoo, and TEXAS with you're new
"roomate" (who i knew was you're boyfriend) BEFORE THE
DIVORCE WITH DAD EVEN BEGAN.
This new man: he scared me... you met him at the mental ward of GOOD
SAMARITAN HOSPITAL, DOWNERS GROVE ILLINOIS. Children sense when someone
can't be trusted. This new man betrayed you
in your own home...and for what he did to that boy....IN YOUR HOME WHILE YOU
WEREN'T THERE--he'll be in prison forever. I'm so lucky it
wasn't me to whom he did such unspeakable acts.
Sometimes i'm enraged by the questions i can't ask. NOW THAT I
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SUBJECTED ME TO, I CAN'T ASK YOU WHY. You're
gone. Everything you did was so sudden: New boyfriend, new house, divorce,
sabotage the relationships with everyone you previously held dear, including
me, you're adopted, and only, daughter. Then when i thought it had hit
rock bottom....
SO SUDDENLY YOU DIED.
 
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